I know there was something I wanted...and so I'm chewing my nails. It's hard to deal with a craving you can't identify. I suppose this is one of those nights though, when some gut feeling has worked you up into knowing there has to be something to look forward to, yet at 10:33 it isn't hard to foresee disappointment. It might be because earlier on there was the chance of seeing his face today, and one craving would have been satisfied. Still itching me perhaps...
I met with many prospects of fufilling at least a small part of what I was looking for. We got out, thank god I left that house. We drove, we bought things, and at any other time I would have had to drag myself though it. But at soon as we returned home, that desperate exhuberance was gone. I watched a movie, then it ended. Someone called me, they hang up. I even waited half the day for a freaking soup to get done. Anything to interrupt my sitting here, at the computer, typing. It feels like the day after, when all I can accomplish is sitting, thinking, remembering. It feels pathetic.
m&ms just aren't working for me right now...